Two weeks ago, I quit my job.
Wait, WHAT? I know.
I don’t speak of my job very often on my blog…On purpose.
I view my blog as an open, vulnerable, honest space. I’m pretty keen on letting you guys into the weird little corners of my life, especially when it involves that time my family had to pay me to go on the Jaws ride due to my irrational fear of anything sharky…and…you know…the fact that I’m 25 and I still don’t really know how to use make up. That being said, much like in a relationship, I think it’s important to have parts of your life that are reserved for you. Whether that’s a hobby, a job, a journal, whatever it is, find something and choose not to share it with everyone. Keep a few secrets sacred.
It’s kind of like being a spy. Kind of.
Let me preface all of this by saying that I loved my job. I loved the people at my job. I loved the office, the location, and my CEO. I loved my teams, the brands I worked on, and my role at the company. I loved that my job was the reason I moved to New York City, and that it was the launch pad for my career. I love everything thing it’s taught me about myself, and I feel good knowing it is a place I will always feel connected to.
That being said, I knew deep down it was time to go exploring. A sort of spelunking if you will.
I had no back up plan in place…On purpose.
I think sometimes we become so wrapped up in looking into the future, that we forget where we are and what we’re feeling right now. There is a lot of validity in the now, but often we are so afraid of the answers, that we stop asking the important questions. These questions are different for everyone. Every year I try to evaluate where I’m at by asking myself questions and doing my best to answer them honestly. After a year with my company, I knew I had a few questions that needed to be be answered.
This time around those questions were:
I always seem to put a lot of thought into the many scenarios that could play out. It can be a vice, because I tend to spend hours over thinking things, but it’s nice in the sense that once my mind is made up I go into tackle mode. I zero in on whatever it is and charge full speed ahead. (Note: This is not generally applied to people. Have no fear, if I see you on the street and I want to give you a hug, I won’t charge and tackle you).
Once I took the time to answer those questions, I knew exactly what I needed. I needed to take a few weeks to recharge my creative batteries. I needed to spend a little time with family. I needed to get out of the city, smell the fresh air, dig my toes into the sand, go kayaking, stay up until 1am with my best friend having deep life chats, start fresh, and MOSTLY I really needed to learn how to do that hat flip trick that I always see the kids in the subway cars doing.
I just needed to embrace the unknown, a concept I am still trying to work my way through. Not knowing is kind of scary. To some extent, we never REALLY know anything, we just think we do. We think we need more of this or less of that and we try our best to adjust accordingly. I wanted to experience letting go of something, bravely, without feeling like I had to plan my next ten steps. What actually ended up happening was kind of serendipitous.
I stumbled upon a company that I knew had a lot to offer me creatively, intellectually, and professionally. I knew the moment I found them, that it was a company I had to work for. I applied the day before giving my two weeks notice.
I start Monday.
So cheers to the unknown. To not having everything perfectly planned out. To going after what you want for yourself, for your career, for your love life, for your future. Cheers to listening to your head sometimes, but following your heart. Cheers to wildly chasing your dreams when you’re young. To losing and finding balance. To knowing what you’re capable of. Cheers to, “Why?” Cheers to, “Why not?” Cheers to asking yourself scary questions and answering them honestly.
Cheers to it’s never too late.
Cheers to taking a chance on something good, because nothing good ever gets away.