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Fetal Pose Is A Yoga Position…Right?

Are you looking for a way to feel a little less ego-tastic?
Do you think you’re the bee’s knees? The Cat’s meow?
Think you’re the bomb.com?

Rest assured I have found the solution that will make you feel the exact OPPOSITE of all those things.

This is starting to sound like a horrible infomercial for a product nobody would ever want to buy. Stick with me. Also, ego-tastic? Not a word. I’m aware.

I have found few things in life to be more humbling than being new to and getting lost in New York City. I’ve always prided myself in being adventurous. I’ll chase my little dreams to any continent if it means experiencing something exceptional. HOWEVER, NYC is on ANOTHER LEVEL! It doesn’t matter how many countries you’ve lived in, how many trains you’ve taken, or how many languages you speak, living in New York City will completely tear down any misconceptions you may have about your fluent navigation skills. Side note: my friends, boyfriend, and parents are probably sitting at home right now thinking…“Fluent navigation skills? WHAT fluent navigations skills!!? GIRL YOU CRAY!”

Relax peeps, in recent years my navigation skills have drastically improved. Living abroad (twice) played a large role in me figuring out that calling somebody when you’re lost and telling them you’re passing a Wal-Mart is NOT the correct answer when they ask you to describe where you are.

I guess street names might be the correct answer in that situation?

Let me start by saying that New York City Jedi mind tricks you into believing that:
a) you will rock at living in the city for the first week
b) you will not get lost because the streets have numbers and stuff
c) eating at the sketchy Chinese restaurant won’t give you a stomach ache.

Living in the city has shown me a completely new side of myself. Allow me to toot my own horn for one moment and say that emotionally and mentally, I am a pretty tough cookie. In other words, I made it through Paranormal Activity without closing my eyes and I made it through Charlie St. Cloud without crying. So pretty much, I’m so tough, I belong in The Hunger Games.

Me: Can you teach me how to shoot that bow and arrow?
Katniss: Can you teach me how to Dougie?
Me: Word.

It has shown me the side of myself that wants to curl up in fetal position. You might think I’m using fetal position as an analogy for being really upset, but I promise that there were ACTUALLY park benches and door stoops that looked pretty good. Today, after four hours of unsuccessful apartment hunting, I literally curled up on the couch with a cup of tea and had a good cry. Do you want to know what sparked this emotional melt down? I coulnd’t get the television to work. I promise I was not crying because I was missing the latest episode of Mob Wifes, it was more the fact that there have been so many changes in such a condensed period of time and I just felt overwhelmed.

Deep breaths.

I could have probably gotten away with leaving that part out had I stuck with the whole “tough as nails” thing, but if we’re being honest (because we’re always honest, *Fistbump*) this past week went by so quickly that I didn’t really have time to process any information that didn’t have to do with my job. My first week in New York City has proven to one of the most challenging weeks of my life. I might even go as far to say it has been THE most challenging week of my life.

If you’re new to New York, chances are, you will not rock on your first try. Still, I am determined to get to know the ins and outs of this fascinating, chaotic city.

I wish I could successfully put on paper the number of times people have said “how did you get lost? There are numbers!” NYC is a parallel universe where numbers and street names are obsolete and every street looks exactly the same. If you’re from New York, ignore that statement because you were probably born with superpowers. Also, you can’t trust your iPhone or Google Maps. The poor little blue dot on my iPhone was as lost as I was. One minute it would tell me I was going the right way, and the next minute it would tell me I was going three streets, five hot dog stands, and fifteen Starbucks in the wrong direction. Before I knew it, it was 8:45 and I was supposed to be at work.

Also, that sketchy Chinese restaurant on the corner of 700th and Whatchyamacallit?
Always a bad decision, but that’s self explanatory.

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17 Comments

  1. Yes getting lost is kind of tough above 14th street. All rectangular boxes, and it’s an island. If you hit water (or Central Park), turn around – it’s in the other direction.

    Don’t know how I didn’t know you were living in NYC – probably still thinking you were Down Under 😉

  2. “Allow me to toot my own horn for one moment and say that emotionally and mentally, I am a pretty tough cookie”

  3. Girl I’m FROM New York and I still get lost. It’s sad. And welcome! I forgot you were moving here! We should meet up sometime. 🙂

  4. Breathe. Believe me, it gets easier. Before you know it, you’ll have all of this stuff down and you won’t have to look it up every time you go out.

    I don’t know whether anyone’s told you the general rule of Manhattan (above 14th St) yet, but streets run east and west. Evens go east, Odds go west except for the few that go both ways, but as long as you know even is east, odd is west you can figure out north by standing as if east was to your right, north with be in front of you. Avenues run north and south. Broadway breaks all the rules and runs diagonal on a NW/SE trajectory.

    Also, if you’re not doing anything Friday night, some of my friends are trying to plan an outing. I don’t know the details yet, but you guys are more than welcome to come. 🙂

  5. Ugh, I feel anxious FOR you knowing full-well I could be living anywhere from L.A. to NYC a year from now. My navigational skills are… lacking, despite my occasional (and misguided) confidence in them. I’m still proud that I know general directions of places I’ve lived in MY WHOLE LIFE. But anyway. Know that if you stick it out and get used to NYC, you are an official badass who can handle anything. You can do it, gurrl.

  6. You deserve the back self-pats. My first time in NYC (many years ago), I was too terrified to leave my hotel room except to attend meetings. I’m an old pro now. But I still get thrown off when something is at the corner of 3rd and 3rd. I mean, please…

    • That’s lovely, thank you! I’ve been trying to cut myself a break. My life has become so fast paced so abruptly, that I forget that I’ve ONLY been here for a week. I love my new job and I love being in a new place, but apartment hunting in New York is so stressful when you don’t know where you’re going haha! xo

  7. Love it! Not your frustration and melt down but your honesty! I love the humor amongst the chaos and finale picture too! I always thought NYC would be a place to live for at least six months just to say I did it and survived. Hmm, luckily I am not at #897 on my bucket list just yet! I hope the coming weeks get better for you — chaos is no fun and any pose you want to strike can be a yoga pose – its all about the breath anyway! Namaste!

    • I feel like if I can survive New York, I can survive anything! I think that’s the general mentality here. The week wasn’t negative, it was just challenging! 🙂 Thank you for your kind words. I’m starting to adapt to the chaos!

  8. If Katniss wants you to teach her how to Dougie, it’s a sure sign that things will be okay 🙂 In other news…I really need to get caught up on your blog–since this whole NYC bizz is news to me 🙂

  9. Taylor says

    Honest post Carley! I’ve been reading your blog for a while now, and based on what I “know” of you I know you’ll come out on top of this situation fist-bumping, high-fiving and taking names! You got this!

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