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HAY GIRL HAY! Nah, Hay Is For Horses.

I’m afraid of sharks, but I’m allergic to horses.

Part of me thinks that being allergic to something and being afraid of something are kind of on the same playing field. I should just start telling people that I’m allergic to sharks. Then I won’t have to go through conversations like this:

“Why are you so afraid of sharks, Car?”
“I saw Jaws when I was like five, when I was on a camping trip.”
“How did you watch TV on a camping trip.”
“Well, we had a room, with a shower, and a TV, and a fire pit.”
“That’s not camping…”

THANKS, STRANGER.

My fear of horses hasn’t generated from a terrifying rendition of Black Beauty or The Last Unicorn. I was just not born with the ability to breathe and sit on top of a horse simultaneously. My mother, of course, did not realize this until it was too late. My mom grew up working on race tracks and started her own business sewing horse wraps when she was in her twenties, so naturally she dreamed of birthing a little girl who would someday share a mutual compassion and adoration for these tall, sleek, four legged creatures.

At a fair when I was about three, my mom thought what many wide eyed mothers think when they see horses at town fairs.

I’m going to stick my smaller than a yard stick sized human on this incredibly large creature and hope for the best. Maybe she’ll ride around in circles, or maybe the horse will frantically buck, hurling my toddler seventeen feet in the opposite direction. Who knows?

I actually almost died.

My throat passage closed, both of my eyes swelled completely shut, and my face turned funny colors. I became all puffy and sweaty…Similar to a miniature Jabba the Hut.

The following months were filled with doctor visits and needle prick tests, where they injected tiny amounts of various potential allergens into my body to see what I reacted negatively to.

I reacted negatively to horses. Big surprise there!

Moral of the story, I can’t ride horses.
Neither can Jabba the Hut.

[Photo Cred]

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17 Comments

  1. Heh. You know, I was bitten by a stranger’s dog a few years ago, but I’m not afraid of dogs- I love them. Yet when I was a kid, my neighbors had some nasty geese. They didn’t hurt me, just scared me- and to this day I am terrified of geese.

    • Haha that’s funny, I mean maybe if I had been bitten by a horse things would be different. I just physically can’t go near them without having a full blown allergy attack. I actually have an epi-pen. It’s pretty serious haha!

  2. Well that’s a bummer. It’s pretty much my fave thing in the world. But my oldest sister grew up on our 20 acre farm being allergic to damn near everything. Now that she lives in the city, she can hardly step foot in my parents’ house.

  3. How my goodness Carley, hilarious post!
    Life has had me distracted lately and I keep thinking how I need to check in with you and FG for a little balance and this post didn’t fail to deliver. Thank you!!

  4. “THANKS, STRANGER” – love it. I lol’d.
    Love reading your blog, you have such a great way of writing! Always entertaining. Fist bump.
    PS. I’m totally hesitant to put myself on a horse, and I never even had a life-threatening experience. I think it’s a reasonable fear, the fear of animals much larger than you!

  5. Now that’s an allergy you don’t hear about on the reg. I actually enjoy horse back riding (haven’t done it in years), but that still doesn’t mean I am any less terrified of the things. There is just such a sense of uncertainty and anticipation of chaotic behavior that I associate with them. And then there are the eyes…

  6. Sherlock Holmes said, “horses: dangerous on both ends and crafty in the middle”. Guess he would have to agree with you.

  7. The only horse I have ever sat upon that didn’t terrify me was one of those outside the grocery store when I was six…you know the one that takes a quarter to operate and is made of plastic.

    I also never go in the ocean when I don’t hear the words of the immortal sheriff Brody…”Isn’t it true that most get attacked by sharks in three feet of water about ten feet from the beach?”

    Like you, I am not a fan of either.

    Tim

    • That’s so funny! Interestingly, I grew up on the beach and the ocean doesn’t worry me at all! That being said, being in an aquarium with 10 inches of glass in between myself and a shark absolutely terrifies me!

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